I was reading in Matthew 23 about the scathing verbal tongue-lashing that Jesus gave the Pharisees, a couple of days before He was crucified, and I happened on this verse.
“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you cross land and sea to make one convert, and then you turn that person into twice the child of hell you yourselves are! (Matthew 23:15 NLT)
Looks like the Pharisees were pretty passionate about missions, too. They were so legalistic and practiced so little of the message they preached to everyone else, that no one could stand them, really. Had a funny thought about how they probably had to go to a foreign country to get someone who'd listen to their mess...then it occurred to me...
Sometimes we go on mission trips to other countries and we marvel at the hunger for and receptiveness to the Gospel of Christ. In conjunction, we sometimes get frustrated at the American people around us who seem so cold to our message. Makes me wonder...if those people across the sea lived with us, worked with us day in and day out, seeing our less than stellar moments and not just those euphoric moments pursuing "The Mission" on a foreign land...would they be so receptive to hear from us?
Nah...of course not...well....hmmmmmmmm
Just some off the cuff stuff that is worthy of the "off brand" name... low cost, basic & pretty black-n-white.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
Thoughts on the artists in your life
If you have an artist in your life (a child or a family member), a lot of the time, they are hard to manage. I have a few in my home (here's a clue, they are shorter and more energetic than me). They always want to do weird stuff and they are uber-passionate/emotional about things. A lot of the time, I know, as a parent, my first reaction to what I call an "artist request" is to say "no, don't do that" simply because I've never thought of it that way before and my brain does a double take and I try to figure out what the end result will be...it got me to thinkin.
One of the greatest moments in the life of this artist (because I consider myself one) was one thing my mother did when I was a child. One day I walked up to her and said "I'd like a boiled okra sandwich"...it was an odd request, since I'd never had one before, and my Mom could have said "No" out of reflex...or "no, it will waste okra if you don't like it." or "No, I don't even know how to make one."
But my Ma did the most wonderful things ever...
...she just said "sure", grabbed two pieces of bread, lathered it up with mayo and stuffed it full of boiled okra from the fridge. In return she got a great story to tell that she's told most of my life about the boiled okra sandwich and how I bit into it, a pod squirted out, I followed it down my arm like a hawk and scooped it into my mouth as it headed off my elbow. It was a memory.
It got me to thinking about artists in general...they are going to do different things, because they are out of the box thinkers. All kids have a bit of the artist in them, somewhat, so this really applies to every parent. Most of the time, it's too easy for my brain to just freeze up like a computer if they suggest something that wasn't anticipated in my programming and just chuck out the default blue screen of death answer..."no". As a parent, I want them to be safe and it's my job, right? Well, not always...I'm also been entrusted with their development and that's hard...so in thinking through that balance...what about this? If it won't hurt them, then let it roll or better yet, jump in with them...encourage them. So what if they think cowboy boots goes well with a football helmet and a big red arm band to go to Publix...after they try it, you might decide that's your new Fall look...and anyway, what does it hurt? The bagboy going to think you are a crummy parent because your kid looks like that? If he does, it's probably just latent anxiety brought on from the emotional scarring of getting his gigantic green sunglasses, camo makeup and Star Trek T-shirt being forcibly replaced with something less noticeable.
Encouragement without criticism, cynicism or ridicule is a great gift to give to an artist. There's going to be PLENTY of people in the life of an artist to tell them they are stupid or weird or crazy. You want to endear them to you...support them. If you want to protect them, protect them from damage, not failure, which are not synonyms. Always trying to shelter an artist from failure doesn't protect them, it smothers them. They just die in a different way. It chokes joy's breath out of them and keeps hem from being what God intended them to be.
You want to help them...here's an idea:
Create a safe environment for them to express themselves and watch the creativity bloom in the lives of those around you. Now this isn't a "safe environment" devoid of the risk of failure, but one free of the risk of ridicule, disapproval and "roll-eye". Not a "safe environment" that insulates them from looking or being different, but one where that's not a big deal.
Don't constantly make them waste their precious creativity and energy in the making of a suitable presentation to gain your approval...don't find yourself constantly standing in the way, with your fists on your hips, telling them the sensible thing to do. Play that role enough and you just become "white noise" in their lives that doesn't really communicate anything to them.
Be bold enough to head down some crazy roads or take a different route home from the store, just because they want to go a different way and enjoy it...don't grouse the whole time because you could have gotten there faster if "we'd" just have taken this turn or that...it's no big deal. Actually, you might even find a faster way at some point that you didn't know about already or see something pleasant you didn't expect...maybe you'll even have a "boiled okra sandwich" moment to talk about for years.
You go down some roads and you tell them, "I'm on your side" or "I want to see you grow into who you are" and then they will trust you. THEN, when that idea comes up that will really harm them, you have the credibility and the trust with them to gain a listening ear. They will know that you aren't objecting because you just "don't see it" or you "always say no" or just "don't trust them or understand them", because those things aren't true of the norm. Yeah, they might get frustrated with you and even yell and say something stupid, but I guarantee you, whether they tell you or not, they are listening...and thinking about it, or maybe fighting on the inside about it. They just might come back in an hour or a week and tell you that you were right...or they will just do something different. They might blow it up and realize you were right...but if you don't create the safety they need, not the safety you need, you'll never know.
If you always choose to be the first to shoot a hole in an idea or a dream, then rest assured, for you, the dreams will lessen, the artist will withdraw...from you. You won't stop the dreams from coming, you'll just stop getting to participate in them because eventually, the artist just won't tell you anymore, thinking you "wouldn't support it anyway." You'll lose your influence and you'll neither be able to protect them nor enjoy them...but it's going to take some risk on your part to do this...but it's necessary and who knows, you just might have some fun.
One of the greatest moments in the life of this artist (because I consider myself one) was one thing my mother did when I was a child. One day I walked up to her and said "I'd like a boiled okra sandwich"...it was an odd request, since I'd never had one before, and my Mom could have said "No" out of reflex...or "no, it will waste okra if you don't like it." or "No, I don't even know how to make one."
But my Ma did the most wonderful things ever...
...she just said "sure", grabbed two pieces of bread, lathered it up with mayo and stuffed it full of boiled okra from the fridge. In return she got a great story to tell that she's told most of my life about the boiled okra sandwich and how I bit into it, a pod squirted out, I followed it down my arm like a hawk and scooped it into my mouth as it headed off my elbow. It was a memory.
It got me to thinking about artists in general...they are going to do different things, because they are out of the box thinkers. All kids have a bit of the artist in them, somewhat, so this really applies to every parent. Most of the time, it's too easy for my brain to just freeze up like a computer if they suggest something that wasn't anticipated in my programming and just chuck out the default blue screen of death answer..."no". As a parent, I want them to be safe and it's my job, right? Well, not always...I'm also been entrusted with their development and that's hard...so in thinking through that balance...what about this? If it won't hurt them, then let it roll or better yet, jump in with them...encourage them. So what if they think cowboy boots goes well with a football helmet and a big red arm band to go to Publix...after they try it, you might decide that's your new Fall look...and anyway, what does it hurt? The bagboy going to think you are a crummy parent because your kid looks like that? If he does, it's probably just latent anxiety brought on from the emotional scarring of getting his gigantic green sunglasses, camo makeup and Star Trek T-shirt being forcibly replaced with something less noticeable.
Encouragement without criticism, cynicism or ridicule is a great gift to give to an artist. There's going to be PLENTY of people in the life of an artist to tell them they are stupid or weird or crazy. You want to endear them to you...support them. If you want to protect them, protect them from damage, not failure, which are not synonyms. Always trying to shelter an artist from failure doesn't protect them, it smothers them. They just die in a different way. It chokes joy's breath out of them and keeps hem from being what God intended them to be.
You want to help them...here's an idea:
Create a safe environment for them to express themselves and watch the creativity bloom in the lives of those around you. Now this isn't a "safe environment" devoid of the risk of failure, but one free of the risk of ridicule, disapproval and "roll-eye". Not a "safe environment" that insulates them from looking or being different, but one where that's not a big deal.
Don't constantly make them waste their precious creativity and energy in the making of a suitable presentation to gain your approval...don't find yourself constantly standing in the way, with your fists on your hips, telling them the sensible thing to do. Play that role enough and you just become "white noise" in their lives that doesn't really communicate anything to them.
Be bold enough to head down some crazy roads or take a different route home from the store, just because they want to go a different way and enjoy it...don't grouse the whole time because you could have gotten there faster if "we'd" just have taken this turn or that...it's no big deal. Actually, you might even find a faster way at some point that you didn't know about already or see something pleasant you didn't expect...maybe you'll even have a "boiled okra sandwich" moment to talk about for years.
You go down some roads and you tell them, "I'm on your side" or "I want to see you grow into who you are" and then they will trust you. THEN, when that idea comes up that will really harm them, you have the credibility and the trust with them to gain a listening ear. They will know that you aren't objecting because you just "don't see it" or you "always say no" or just "don't trust them or understand them", because those things aren't true of the norm. Yeah, they might get frustrated with you and even yell and say something stupid, but I guarantee you, whether they tell you or not, they are listening...and thinking about it, or maybe fighting on the inside about it. They just might come back in an hour or a week and tell you that you were right...or they will just do something different. They might blow it up and realize you were right...but if you don't create the safety they need, not the safety you need, you'll never know.
If you always choose to be the first to shoot a hole in an idea or a dream, then rest assured, for you, the dreams will lessen, the artist will withdraw...from you. You won't stop the dreams from coming, you'll just stop getting to participate in them because eventually, the artist just won't tell you anymore, thinking you "wouldn't support it anyway." You'll lose your influence and you'll neither be able to protect them nor enjoy them...but it's going to take some risk on your part to do this...but it's necessary and who knows, you just might have some fun.
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